Ep #14: Hero’s Journey Series 11 of 11: The Return

Well, hello, my friends.

Especially those of you who have been with me this entire time. Through this series, this Hero’s Journey series, you are now at the final face. You are ready to come back down the mountain and re-enter the ordinary world, although your ordinary world is no longer ordinary anymore, because you have, in a new way, become extraordinary, internally and externally. People are going to be able to see some of these changes. You are going to need to really hold on to some of the habits that you formed at this point, as well, in order to be successful and have those habits stick and reinforce them. 

And that’s what this episode is all about. This episode is The Return. And what we’re going to be talking about today is how to set yourself up for success now that you are returning to your ordinary world. There are going to be some things just to be aware of, that way you can be successful. Here’s what I mean about that. For instance, when I decided to go on one of my heroes’ journeys, (and this has been fairly recent, in the last several years), I decided I wanted to drink a lot less. This was a bit of a problem for me because of the fact that I had defined myself through a lot of my own behaviors as “the cocktail guy.” I was that person. And I felt really good about this identity because I’d been a bartender for a part of my life. I knew how to make all kinds of amazing drinks. You want the best Margarita you’ve ever had? You want a fantastic Martini? You want a Manhattan that is, just, tastes better than anything you’ve ever had? I took so much joy into hosting people at my home and making them amazing exotic drinks with fantastic ingredients, beautiful stemware, perfectly curated ice..like, I was that guy. 

And for a long time, it really worked for m. And I love the joy I got from other people by hosting and by me extending, making them feel included and giving them something special. There were a lot of amazing things about that. And I made the decision in my life that I wanted to consume less alcohol because I wanted more positive effects in my life as far as different things, and things I wanted to do in my life. And I noticed that mental health-wise and body composition-wise, and drive and motivation, there were lots of these things were adding up to where it wasn’t really worth it to me anymore. S through going through my own journey, I very much lessened my consumption of alcohol.

Now, doing this changed the way that I interacted with people. Because now when they came over to my house, I wasn’t making cocktails as often. There wasn’t a fully stocked bar, in fact. That bar was completely gone. It was made into a protein drink station because I became that guy. And I got very much into bodybuilding. So when people would come over and I had friends and family members that were used to me being this guy, filling this role–I was this character in their life–it was dissonant for them at first, right? Of course it was! I specifically defined myself as a certain kind of person and you came to expect that and now things are different. Nothing is going wrong here. Nothing’s going wrong here. It’s just that I’ve gone through a change and now your version of me in your head is disodent with what you knew before, to who I’m showing up as now.

Sometimes people can feel ways about that and they don’t really realize they’re doing it. And we’re going to talk a little bit about that as well, but I wanted to use that as an example. That’s just one example you could use. You could have something like that in your professional life as well that you’ve changed you could just have decided. Like, I use this as an example before in a previous episode: decided to make a complete career 180 change, you were a powerful CEO or you were a marketer, or you did something, and you decided to leave that and become an entrepreneur in something else, or do something completely different, or write a book. 

Whatever you wanted to do, people might have some disadence in their mind of who they had categorized you as and how you interact with them and this new person that you’ve become. When you return to the ordinary world and you’ve made this transformation: perfectly normal. Nothing’s going wrong here. There’s no reason to be mad at them. Have no reason to have a problem with what you have transformed into as well. But we’re all messy humans, right? And so you might notice that people’s behavior is a little bit different towards you. This, I want you to expect, it’s normal. There was a version of you that people were used to–your loved ones, your friends, your spouse, all these people that you interact with at work. 

And there’s a new version of you in a small or a large way that shows up now. Nothing’s going wrong here. You shouldn’t really, if we’re thinking about it cleanly, have expected that they wouldn’t notice, right? Do you want your transformation on your Hero’s Journey to have been so subtle and non-impactful that no one notices? I think most of us would say, “No, actually, I would, I would kind of like people to notice that I’ve gone through a change a little bit,” right? 

And so expect that just expect that those things are going to pop up. In fact, here’s three things to expect on this journey. Number one: you’re different and other people may not like it. Peers, loved ones, friends, for the reasons I just explained, they loved you before and numbers are different person and they have to get used to it. Allow that to take time. It’s totally fine. Nothing’s going wrong here. It also, just to let you know, might make them–the way that they’re acting about that may be a byproduct of when we see someone else go through a change, and it’s a positive change. And they’re a new version of themselves. It is very human for those other people to start to examine their own behavior, and compare and contrast. They may even say, you know, start to have some thoughts that they’re not fully aware of that you might be judging them because they make a different choice. I know that was very true for me. I had some specific instances where I could tell people were uncomfortable to have a drink with me, or to invite me out to have drinks when I would not be consuming alcohol. And some of that’s from a good place of perhaps they didn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, when they order a drink, they might have some thoughts that I’m judging them in some way, which is not the case. But that’s very human for people to start to examine themselves and to wonder if someone’s judging them.

Again, nothing’s going wrong here. It’s just that when you change your behavior, when you become a new version of yourself, there are people that are going to observe that and they might be reflecting that back on themselves as well as starting to observe their own behavior. This is neither good nor bad. It just is. So just anticipate it so it makes them examine their own behavior, that’s number, you know, part of that number one, that you’re different.  Other people might not like it. And I want you also to be open to with this new version of yourself, of you being different in other people observing it. Be open to meeting new people outside of your current circle of work colleagues, friends, that support the new version of you that that new version of you is, actually, works really well with the version that they are right now.

So you might, if you start writing your own book, you might start becoming friends with other people that are working on their book or have written a book. Seek out groups that reinforce the behavior of the person that you want to become, proactively. That way you’re growing your friend circle and your acquaintance circle instead of needing your current circle to still provide you with what you need to be provided with from before. So look at expanding, alright, so you’re different. That’s number one and other people might not like it. Just be prepared for that, it’s fine. 

Number two: old habits may come calling. It’s totally fine. You had well-worn patterns before. Like, I use that example of: I had a bar that was set up in my house and it has since become a protein drink station with a blender and, like, all my ingredients and everything there. It’s still, I guess now that I’m thinking of it, it’s still a bar of some sort. It’s just a very different thing that gets concocted there now. And so I am reinforcing a habit that I like with my protein intake specifically for bodybuilding for me in this instance, by having it set up. And it’s reinforcing my new version of myself, my new behavior and so realize that if you have established patterns and habits in your day, in your routine, that coming up with new ones that reinforce the new version of yourself will help you to ultimately be successful. And for those changes that you fought so hard for to stick around. So look for ways to do that. You can go back to the resurrection phase episode that we did if you haven’t listened to that one yet for some more examples, specifically, from James Clear on how to set up habits and routines, so that they’re joyful to you, and they have a better chance of sticking. So that one will come in really, really handy here.

So as you’re in your ordinary life, realize that old patterns may still be there and that you may need to replace some of those in a joyful way so that you can continue to be successful and support the new version of yourself that you’ve become. Now, this last one, number three, we’ve talked about. You’re different, other people may not like it, and that’s fine. Old habits may come calling. You need to establish new habits in order for that to be a source of joy for you and not to be dissonant with the person that you’ve decided to become. Number three is completely joyful, it’s wonderful, but it can sometimes catch you by a little bit by surprise. And I don’t want you to shy away from it or feel embarrassed about it. I want you to embrace it. Much like when we talked about on this adventure, that you meeting the mentor is important, having a coach that helps support the journey you want to go on is so important. You may now start be starting to become that for someone else. 

Someone notices the changes that have happened in you, and they’re gravitating towards it. And they might from even meekly be kind of, you know, raising their hand and going “Hey, can you tell me tell me a little bit more about how you did that? How did you do that thing?” This is a byproduct of you coming back and bringing the fire back to the village, that you now may be someone else’s mentor, you may be in the position to help someone else. And I’ve prepared you for that a little bit when we talked about the road back and how to inspire other people but you’re going to be an example of that now, especially if you reinforce those patterns and you start living your life that way. So others may seek you out. Be prepared to be a mentor, to be that for someone else, to be someone else’s Gandalf. It is the best.

So don’t be surprised if that happens and embrace it when it does. It’s such a wonderful, joyful experience to be able to help someone else out and be that mentor that you needed and maybe an even better version of the mentor, specifically to help someone else approach and do the same thing that you were able to do that transformation that you had in your life and your Hero’s Journey and pass it on. Because you now represent some major things that happen in the Hero’s Journey, a successful Hero’s Journey, and those are: you represent change, you represent success, and you represent the proof of possibility, that it is possible. Where other people might have thought that it wasn’t even worth the attempt because it’s not possible, you are now that proof. Don’t be embarrassed by it. Don’t diminish it, or, you know, brush it aside. Step into it. You’re that person for someone else now and it’s a wonderful thing to be.

So that’s number three. That is what I wanted to prepare you for as you re-enter your ordinary world, as you bring that fire back to the village. And you are living and reinforcing those patterns in your life for all of the hard work you had to go through in this Hero’s Journey in order to become a newer, better version of yourself. You put in so much hard work. You did so many things in order to get there. Now it’s time to enjoy it and maybe even start to look for what your next adventure will be. But not too soon! Just enjoy this space of it right now and realize there’s going to be other evolutions of yourself other Hero’s Journeys you’re gonna go on, because that’s what this is all about. It’s about constantly evolving, and not from a place of scarcity or a need that’s driven by fear, but because you want to continue to joyfully step into new versions of yourself that support you the things you want to do with your life, the things you want to do with your family, the ways that you want your business to grow–all of those things can happen together from a place of joy and a place of abundance. 

So, thank you so much, for anyone that’s gone through this sub series that we’ve had the Hero’s Journey, all 11 parts, you can apply the things that I’ve taught you to your personal and to your professional and your entrepreneurial life. And they don’t have to be separate. They can cross over into each other and make something even better than if they were separate. A holistic viewpoint. So thanks for coming on this journey with me. We have some exciting things coming up in future episodes as well that are going to help you in your business as well as your personal life, and I can’t wait to share them with you. 

Until next week, congratulations on completing your Hero’s Journey. You know what the stages are now. You can go back and listen to any of these episodes. We’re going to leave them up so that at any point, you can go in and double click into whatever phase you think you might be in on your Hero’s Journey so that you can progress through it and ultimately be successful. 

Until next week. Have a fantastic, storied week. Bye, for now.