Ep #10: Hero’s Journey Series 7 of 11: The Ordeal

Hello, my friends. I am so excited that we’ve gotten to this point. We have gone all the way through six episodes at this point on this specific Hero’s Journey quest together, where I’m doing a deep dive into the different parts that make up the Hero’s Journey: the mono-myth, the template that you can use in your professional and your personal life in order to walk through and change huge changes in your life of how you perceive yourself, of how you would like to be perceived, of where you would like to move professionally if you feel stuck. How to get over being stuck, how to identify which of the stages that you’re in, and how to get to the next stage: this is what we’re doing this time.

All of this has built up to this point of number seven. This is part seven. This is the ordeal. This is the big thing. Last week, we talked about getting ready for the change, the approach to what we call the cave, where you you start to prepare for something and now you’re going in, metaphorically. You’re going in to slay the dragon at this point, you’ve put on your armor, you’ve met people that have helped you on your journey, you’ve overcome smaller obstacles in order to get to this point, you’ve started to think of yourself as a different person, and now you’re going to go do a big thing where you step into that new role, that new version of yourself, and see what it feels like to really inhabit that and to put your money where your mouth is. It’s another way to say it.

I wanted to start this off with telling you a little bit of a story. I remember the very first time that I called myself a producer, that I had the audacity to say that out loud on a large commercial set. It was the first big commercial that I had done under my own banner for my own company for OMH Creative with Microsoft and this was a really big deal in my mind because I had done some smaller projects up to that, but most of my experience had been with my degrees in acting and directing and then some casting that I did as well when I had a casting service. And now I was calling myself the producing director. I was the person on set that everyone was going to look to ask questions to. I was the person that had sold the vision of this, had assembled the crew, had put everything together so that on this day the commercial was going to happen. And I remember waking up that morning and I was terrified, absolutely terrified. We’re talking full-blown anxiety attack on the horizon. What have I gotten myself into? I knew that I had gone through all those different stages, that I had had the idea that my ordinary world was no longer enough, that I wanted this to be something, that if I did that I’d have to step into a bigger version of myself, that I would need to cross the threshold. I would need to meet new allies, assemble the crew, in this case, overcome enemies, some of which were my own thoughts about if I was capable of doing this, what I thought other people might think of me by calling myself a producing director.

You know how in your head when you go and you start to think of a different version of yourself and you have flashes of thinking of all the people that would be like snickering behind your back that you’re having the audacity to learn and to grow and to become a different version of yourself: most of that’s made up in our own mind. But it’s still there and it can keep us from doing what we want to do and then getting to the point where you get to the cave in this point. You’ve done all the preparation. I had done all of the things. I had assembled the most amazing crew. The client was ready. Everything was booked—the space was booked, all the equipment, the trucks with all the equipment: everything was coming in. This was the big thing. I had to show up on set and step into that version of myself, too, with a straight face, let other people call me the producer, and stepped into that role for myself to direct the crew, to make sure that everything was happening between the client and the crew and everything was being done, the script was being shot out the right way. And then moving forward—and like I said, it was absolutely terrifying. And for many of you, when you get to this stage, when you get to the ordeal, it will be terrifying for you as well and that’s normal. If you weren’t going to be doing something big, something that pushed you out of your comfort zone, made you uncomfortable and forced you in a position to grow, then why would you have gone on this adventure anyway?

Now, you don’t have to like the way that feels. I definitely didn’t like it the morning when I woke up and went, “Oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into?” But you need to walk onto that set, or whatever version that is for you, as well. And this can happen in lots of different ways in your own life. You’ve gone through all of the pieces so far, though. You’ve met those new people that start to see you and cheer you on, you’ve overcome some of your own thoughts, you’ve stepped into a, you’ve started to take your first tentative steps into really considering yourself to be this new version of yourself that you want to be, whether that’s personally or professionally. And a lot of times, it’s both, because this growth happens on the outside what people can see but the most amazing change that happens is what’s happening on the inside. Because the outside is just an expression of that when you start actually knowing that you are this new version of yourself and walking into it. That’s when the magic really happens. And that externally, people start to see it and notice it and then that reinforces this new version of you and you start to believe it and other people believe it as well. It’s amazing. It’s magic when it happens. We’ve had students that have had all kinds of different things that they’re approaching with that might be their ordeal. It’s the crucible, it’s the big thing they’re going to do that they’ve prepared for up into this point, that they’ve left the ordinary world for, and that they’re going to come and do this. They dared to think that they could do it. They crossed the threshold. They said that they were going to be a new version of themselves, and now they’ve walked into it.

It could be something like going on a first date after a divorce, or after a relationship ended previous to that. And how brave you need to be to have gotten to the point where you can show up for that or you can have matched with someone perhaps online and show up at that restaurant for the first time. That could be your ordeal, everything that you’ve gone through in order to get to that point. It could be the confidence in everything that had to happen from thinking of the fact that you might want to have a different role at your company and you might want to go after that job or that new role. That up to this point, you would wouldn’t have thought that you were qualified for or that you didn’t know that you could do it. And so maybe it’s the interview. It’s the day of the interview, and you’re getting dressed, and you’re going to walk into that new version of yourself and you’re going to embody the person that you know that they need in order for them to fill that role and that you are going to be that person and that’s going to help you grow in your career. Or maybe it’s that new audacious business that you wanted to grow, that you wanted to start, and you just hit publish on your sales page. Or maybe you’re a couple steps ahead of that and now you’re getting to your first pitch meeting. You had someone that was interested in your product, they saw your sales page, and this is the very first time that you’re gonna get in front of someone and you’re gonna pitch them your product or your service and you have to see if it flies.

There is a risk on the line during this stage. You’ve done all this preparatory work up into this point and it takes such bravery to do this step. Don’t minimize that. Everything that you’ve done up to this point is so that you could do this and that you could do it and there is risk involved, you could fail. If there aren’t real stakes on the line for your own life, or for when you’re watching an adventure or a movie or TV show, if the hero doesn’t have real stakes, real mortal danger, either imagined, or that could happen to them as far as physically or even mentally, the risk they’re taking and stepping into this new version of themselves, that it really wouldn’t be an adventure, would it? It really wouldn’t be the kind of risk that can cause the kind of change that you want to see in your life where you are a different version of yourself living a life that you didn’t think was possible just a short time before. So honor that, and honor that without the fear you couldn’t have courage in order to step into that new role to go to that interview, to go on that first day, to launch that new product, to dare to dream that you are going to start a new business.

This is the stage where you’re going to have to do the thing and you’re going to have to be really uncomfortable doing it, more than likely in front of somebody else. Congratulations. You’re now at the stage of the ordeal.

So this is the high point of the hero’s story. Everything you’ve held dear up to this point is on the line and this will be the moment where you go ahead and you step into that new version of yourself. I want you to know that all the work that you did before, though: deciding to go on the adventure in the first place, crossing the threshold, having a mentor, that’s going to show you some ways that you can think about and help you step into a new version of yourself and show you that it’s possible. All of these things that you’ve done, you’ve invested time and energy into yourself, of the thoughts you’ve had to overcome in order to step into this new version of yourself, you are ready to do this, even if you think that you’re not. It’s okay to have the self-doubt. Your Frank the parrot might be sitting on your shoulder, might be a little nervous for you, and that’s okay because we’ve talked about how to deal with Frank, with the part of your brain. You’re gonna be able to step into this new version of yourself.

So that’s what I want you to do, I want you to realize that what you are doing is no small thing, that it’s supposed to be a bit scary, possibly really scary, and hard, And I want you to think of all the people that you’ve idolized up to this point that made huge earth changing, seismic changes in their lives. Do you think that they weren’t scared when they got in front of their dragon? When it was time to put it on the line, of course they were scared. I was scared when I stepped into that new version of myself but it launched my company. That first commercial at Microsoft was so successful. And the fact that I was audacious enough to call myself a producer, once I did it, other people started doing it as well, it was just normal. And then I booked the next commercial, and it was even bigger, and the next one, and it was even bigger, and on and on and on but if you don’t do that first one, if you don’t wake up that morning on the edge of an anxiety attack, perhaps like I was, then really were there any stakes to begin with? You might have been playing it a little too safe. Anyway, so if you’re feeling a bit scared about that new thing that you have coming up, that you prepared for, and stepping into that new version of yourself that needs to happen in order to do it, you’ve got this.

Alright, that’s all we’ve got for this week, my friends.

Think about your own ordeal, that own dragon that you need to slay. Don’t go backwards now. move forwards towards it. You can do this.

All right.

I’ll talk to you next time.

Have a great week.